(I was not satisfied with my last post. Well, I was, but, I wanted to write more… More! Moooorrrrrr-uh!…)
Edward (formerly known as Little Cat… and Humphry Booker: Cat Detective)
Young Edward
Edward is a cat. He is big and fluffy. Oh, SO fluffy! He weighs nearly twenty pounds, and he’s annoyingly affectionate, and also frustratingly ornery. He has to eat a special food that increases the acidity of his urine to prevent urine crystals from forming so he doesn’t suffer another urinary obstruction, and now he has a maddening lust for the kibble the other cats eat, and he’s managed to eat poisonous Rimadyl (a pain killer for dogs) three times, equating three very expensive emergency vet visits.
Edward is the sort of cat who will follow you around relentlessly, obstructing your path if he’s hungry. If you sit down anywhere, he will want on your lap, just because. If you refuse to let him on your lap, he thinks if he creeps slowly enough you won’t notice (which sometimes I don’t if I’m focused on something else). If you still refuse to let him on your lap, he will climb up on the back of the couch, chair, whatever, and lay on your shoulder like a twenty pound scarf.
He usually loves being petted, and he isn’t shy about meeting new people. If he doesn’t want to play or be petted, he will bat at your hands, but at least he’s quite gentle about it.
My mom found Edward, and his sister, Dyna, in the window well of a basement after cycling, only because her friend’s brat dog wanted to eat them and not go away from the well.
‘Oh! Cute! Kittens!’
NO! She called my sister, asking what to do with the kittens. My sister told her there was an animal rescue shelter just up the street. It’s easy for kittens to find homes, too. However, the next day, my mom brought home kittens…
Doesn’t this seem like it should be the other way around, though? Kid finds kittens, mom says no, kid brings home kittens, regardless.
Anyhoo, my mom claimed for nearly six months she would find a home for the kittens. And, she didn’t. During this time, I refused to the call the kittens by any name, and I continuously urged her to find a home for the kittens. I called the long haired cat Little Cat (Edward), and the short haired cat Small Cat (Dyna), which annoyed my sister to much amusement.
After they were neutered and spayed, my mom declared we were to keep the cats, and I continued refusing to use their names, as I wanted nothing to do with them.
‘Oh, that’s so mean! Boo!’
…Anyways… After having the cats for two, maybe three years, Edward was ailed with a urinary obstruction which was brought on by stress caused by my mom’s cretinous girlfriend bring her filthy, untrained, food aggressive dogs over with her when she visited… the mere thought of that oafish ogre causes me to radiate hatred and anger… After the third time Edward suffered a urinary obstruction from her dogs being there, I felt a great sorrow seeing the helpless little beast suffer. The poor fellow was lethargic, unresponsive, and I truly feared he might perish (which he didn’t though. Phew!). I took him to the vet for an overnight stay, my heart breaking seeing him so weak and un-Edward-like.
Upon his return home, we had to monitor his urination, so we had to separate him from other cats, the only viable location being my room. I carefully watched the booger, making sure he didn’t relapse, and, unfortunately, I bonded with him, and him with me…
‘Awwww!‘
Grrr!!!
Edward is healthy and fuwa-fuwa as ever, now, although he does need to lose about three pounds. He can be annoying when he wants attention, but he is definitely not the most annoying cat (it’s a tie between Hal and Charlie). Having a twenty-pout cat on your lap can make it difficult to use a laptop, or eat, as well as stand up. He will cling to your lap when you stand up. I love him, even if he is a pain in my butt (literally, some days… If he wants attention or food, he will latch on to my legs, and if he comes up from behind… yeah…)
Edward: Regal Beast
